


May My Arms Be Your Home

by CoffeemateJC



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beyer-verse, Character Death, Christie Golden, Endgame, Episode Fix-It: s07e25 Endgame (Star Trek: Voyager), F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, J/C Photo Prompt Pic Fest, Kirsten Beyer, Photo Prompt Pic Fest, Post-Endgame, Star Trek Voyager: Homecoming, Time Travel, Voyager relaunch novels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25357906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeemateJC/pseuds/CoffeemateJC
Summary: Part of the J/C Photo Prompt Fic Fest 2020- Based on a manip by Coffeeblack75 (Thank you!!) I will post the picture in the last chapter! :-)An Endgame rewrite of sorts.  Includes some added scenes to canon and relaunch book universe.  This story is angst with a happy ending.  Warning- character death.  Each chapter takes place at a different point in time.  Enjoy!!Chapter 1 is based on the song "Again" by Scott Alan feat. Christiane Noll.  I recommend listening to this song before or after reading.  You will feel the emotion of the song/scene."I love you stillI've never stopped who knows if I willI don't want to see us endSo here I am hoping you'll come homeTo meAgain"  -"Again" by Scott Alan
Relationships: Chakotay & Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 22
Kudos: 53
Collections: J/C Photo Prompt Fic Fest 2020





	1. Again

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:  
> Paramount/CBS own all rights to the Voyager universe and its characters. Christie Golden, Kirsten Beyer and Pocket Books own the Relaunch novels.

~~Set 3 years after Voyager got home in Endgame- in the unaltered Endgame timeline~~

2381- U.S.S. Voyager- Delta Quadrant

She knew she shouldn’t be doing this. She had no right. Yet, at the same time, she had to get this off her chest and try to move on or this journey would be a lot longer than it already is. 

Her steps slowed as she reached his quarters. She paused momentarily, took a deep breath, and pressed the door chime. She swallowed hard as the door swished open. 

She remembered the day that she found out that Chakotay was starting a relationship, even more so the day that he revealed it was Seven. All she ever wanted was for him to be happy… and _her_ for that matter, but… together?!! She never imagined that as a possibility. She ‘loved’ them both. _‘Did I really just think that?’_ she thought. She always thought of Seven as a daughter but, Chakotay… did she love him?

 _‘Yes.’_ She said, almost audibly. She silently cursed herself but was relieved that he wasn’t standing in front of her yet. Chakotay emerged from his bedroom. 

Kathryn’s heart wanted to jump right out of her chest. _‘He looks handsome…’_ she observed, ‘ _dare I say beautiful?’_ He was dressed in a navy blue suit, complete with a white tie, pocket square, and a single white rose boutonniere. He stopped just outside his bedroom door, slightly shocked to see her. 

“Kathryn? Wha-“

Kathryn put her hand up to stop him. “Please...Chakotay.”

Chakotay relaxed his jaw. He waited for her to say what she wanted to say, with trepidation. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, then she spoke.

“You look…” she hesitated. “You never fail to take my breath away.” _‘Who are you? What are you thinking, talking like that_ ?’ She was struggling with her inner thoughts, but her heart wanted to say these things. _‘Kathryn, just tell him, dammit.’_

“I just have to say one thing,” she said, her voice cracking. _‘How did I let you slip away? I’ve hidden behind the Captain facade and never,_ really _, let you in. In a perfect world, we would have never met_ _her_ _. In a perfect world, there would have been no parameters to set. I would have been able to say…’_

“I… I love you,” she barely managed to say. “I’ve never stopped and… who knows if I will.” She scoffed at herself. “Look at me. Someone who has never been brave enough to say those words… but, here I am… hoping…” she brushed off the rest of the sentence. 

In the silence, Chakotay walked past her to the viewport and kept his back towards her. With his arm over his head, he leaned against the wall, unsure of what to say. 

Kathryn couldn’t handle the silence. “Chakotay… please. Say something. Say _anything..._ I can’t bear that I may lose you _.”_

“Spirits Kathryn,” Chakotay said quietly, still with his back to her. She could hear the rage in his voice although he tried to hide it. He turned to her, deep sorrow in his eyes, “Why today? Of all days!”

Kathryn held his gaze, as painful as it was. She could feel her eyes welling up. “I know… I know this is not the place… or time.” She looked down at her hands. “If I could go back… take back all the times that I pushed you away… I would never let you go.” She looked up and searched his eyes, “We’re here, now and… I love you. I don’t want _us_ to end.”

Chakotay furrowed his brow and brought his hand up to rub his chin, then to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Kathryn…” he managed to get out. 

“Please don’t do this. I don’t think my heart can take the pain.” She was more than teary-eyed now, her voice breaking with the words. _‘I can’t believe I’m doing this… I’m practically begging him. What do you think will happen, Kathryn… are you really that naive?’_

Chakotay stepped closer to her. Losing all his ability to speak, he took both of her hands. Kathryn looked up into his dark, now misty, eyes. “I’ve never stopped,” she said looking down at their joined hands. “I just didn’t… know how”.

Their faces were close enough to almost touch. Softly, he said “you gave me your blessing…”

“I just wanted you to be happy,” she said with a somber half-smile. 

Before either of them knew it, they found themselves in a warm embrace. After a few minutes, they parted slightly, keeping their foreheads together. 

“I can’t just turn back on this,” he said.

“I know,” Kathryn said, sadly.

“I need you in my life. You’re too important to me to let you go,” he said, bringing their hands up close to his heart, ”Do I have your blessing?”

Kathryn looked into his eyes, “Yes,” she said, simply.

Chakotay placed a light kiss on her forehead. 

Wiping tears, Kathryn softly said, “I’d better go.” 

Chakotay squeezed her hands and then let go. Kathryn turned and walked out of his quarters. She paused for a moment outside his door before walking off.

Inside, Chakotay stood there watching the door. “I love you, too,” he said, quietly. 

  
  



	2. This is Not the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the unaltered timeline, Captain Janeway and the crew of Voyager make it back to the Alpha Quadrant but not without heartbreak on the way.

~~2394- Vice Admiral Janeway’s alternate timeline, 16 years after Voyager’s return in the prime timeline

“Time to intercept?” Janeway shouted through the rumbling sounds and quaking of the ship. 

“56 seconds” called Tom Paris from the helm. 

Gripping her command chair, she ordered, “Tuvok, ready the torpedoes and fire on my mark.”

“30 seconds and counting,” Tom adds. 

Harry Kim announces, with urgency, “The port nacelle has ruptured, we’re venting plasma!”

“Tom, we’ve been here before. Get us out of here on one engine.” She muttered under her breath, “Not going to make this easy, huh?” 

“Yes m’aam! 20 seconds to the threshold”

Steadying herself in her chair through the bumpy ride as the wormhole pulled them closer, Janeway said, “Prepare the jump to warp as soon as we fire torpedoes.”

“10 seconds!” Tom shouts. 

Tuvok announces, “adjusting shield harmonics.”

“Casualty reports coming in,” Harry exclaimed. “Decks 8, 14…. 10...3…”

“Approaching the threshold” Tom says. 

“Fire torpedoes” Janeway says, firmly. “All hands, brace for impact.” At the next ‘bang’, she jolted and swiftly wiped her slightly grey hair away from her face. Harry states that the shockwave is close behind just as she noticed something to her left that she couldn’t help but tear her eyes away from the present situation. 

“Chakotay?” She said with concern. 

Chakotay started to stand and was grabbing his arm, wincing in pain. Paris and the others’ voices became a faint backdrop as Janeway noticed this. She jumped to her feet just in time to catch him as he collapsed to the floor. Eyes wide with fear, she choked out “Cha-ko...tay.”

The ground shook as Voyager jumped to maximum warp. Tuvok’s shield reporting fades in the background. Kathryn was sitting on the floor, back against the Commander’s chair. He was draped across her lap. She held his face with both hands as tears began to run down her cheeks. 

Chakotay caught her eyes and reached up to cover one of her hands with his. 

“I love you, Kathryn… I never stopped…” is all he managed to say before drifting away.

Kathryn quickly tapped her combadge, “Janeway to sickbay, beam Commander Chakotay over immediately” she shouted with emotion. She put her arms around his warm body and held him tightly as the ship shook with great fury. The ship stopped shaking just as fast as it had begun as Chakotay beamed out of sight. 

“We’re through!” Tom said, his voice cutting through the muted noise Kathryn was hearing. He turned toward her just in time to see Chakotay dematerialize and the heartbroken look on the Captain’s face. His face fell at the sight. 

“Captain, we’re being hailed.” said Harry Kim. 

Kathryn stood up and attempted her strongest ‘Captain voice’ through her tears. “Onscreen.”

Captain Barclay appeared on the screen. “Captain,” he said, astounded at what he was seeing.

“I apologize for not calling ahead,” she half-joked, with grief in her voice. 

“It’s good to see you. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little surprised by your arrival but, we’re glad you’re home.

Kathryn quietly said, “Thank you, Captain…” Her voice dropped as she felt like she was no longer standing on Voyager’s bridge. All she could think of was Chakotay and the reality of being “home” had not hit her… this is her home… he is… was her home. 

“We’ll rendezvous at Deep Space Nine. Barclay out.” Barclay’s image disappeared from the viewscreen. 

Tom caught Kathryn’s eye and before she could say anything he offered, “I’ll set a course for DS9”. He gave her a knowing look. Her eyes said ‘thank you’ as her face was desolate of emotion. 

“Tuvok, you have the bridge.” she said calmly, even in her urgent dash toward the turbolift.

*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*

The doors to sickbay whooshed open as Kathryn all but ran inside. The Doctor stopped her as soon as he saw her. 

“Captain, I…”

She cut him off, “I already know what you’re going to say. Just let me see him.” Her tone was somber but determined. 

The Doctor didn’t say a word, only reluctantly stepping aside. He knew seeing him would cause much pain, but arguing wasn’t an option.

As Kathryn approached the biobed, she could see that he was lying shirtless with a cardiostimulator on his chest. She put her hand to his chest, as she had done many times before. This time, however, he was gone. She looked down at him sleeping peacefully, memorizing his face one last time. She tried to hold back her tears, but a stray few trickled down her face. She then placed a light kiss on his forehead. “I love you” she whispered. 

She stayed by his side a few more moments feeling sadness and anger brewing inside her. She regained her composure with a sudden sense of determination. She moved away from the bed slowly then looked back once more at her beloved first officer. The Doctor bowed his head as she walked by him, neither one saying a word. One her way out the door she thought, ‘ _ this is not the end… _ ”


	3. Get Your Family Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Admiral Janeway goes back in time to change her past and bring Voyager home to avoid tragic circumstances.

~~2404- 10 years after Voyager’s return in Admiral Janeway’s timeline- Alpha Quadrant ~~

Admiral Kathryn Janeway knelt down on a grassy hillside and looked down at something gray hiding beneath some fallen autumn leaves. She gently brushed off the leaves with her hands to reveal the simple engravement,  _ CHAKOTAY 2329-2394 _ . She was alone but had been talking to ‘him’ about her plan. Looking up towards the heavens, she placed her hands on the sides of the stone and said, “...I know it wasn’t easy living all these years without her, Chakotay… but when I’m through, things might be better for all of us. Trust me.” She looked down and placed her hands in the middle of the stone. She brought her hand up to her mouth to kiss it and placed her hand gently back on his grave. 

Rising to stand, she paused a moment to ponder on the stone. Quietly she said, “This wasn’t meant to happen. I should’ve been the one to die. Not her… not you… not any of them. I’m going to change this… and bring all of my family back where they belong.”

With her former first officer’s ‘blessing’, she departed with determination, looking forward to a new past. 

*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*

~~2378- U.S.S.Voyager- Delta Quadrant~~

“... I’ve come to bring Voyager home” Admiral Janeway said on the screen. 

Captain Janeway just stared at her for a moment before telling her older doppelgänger that they would meet her in the transporter room. She turned and nodded to Tuvok and Chakotay, who followed her into the turbolift. 

*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*

After a long and bizarre day of confirming an identity, arguing with her future self, and learning facts about the future that she probably shouldn’t know,  _ Captain  _ Kathryn Janeway tried to relax in her quarters for a bit. It was an impossible task because she knew in her gut that the Admiral was not telling her the whole truth. She decided to go pay her companion a late night visit.

After a brief walk, Kathryn hesitated as she approached the Admiral’s quarters. She pressed the door chime. The doors opened quickly and she was greeted by the Admiral, dressed in her bed clothes. 

“What brings you here this evening, Captain? Actually, that’s a foolish question. I know we were never good with sleep.”

Kathryn cut to the chase, “there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“I beg your pardon?” Admiral Janeway said, trying her best to act oblivious to the statement. 

“You know what I’m talking about,” Kathryn pressured, “you’re me… and I can tell that there is something that you don’t want to say to me. But I need to know.”

Admiral Janeway sighed and ran her hands through her silver locks before taking a seat on the couch. Kathryn read the gesture as an invitation to sit down. 

The admiral’s arm rested on the top of the couch. Kathryn sat beside her, upright and not relaxed at all. 

Her body was turned toward her older self and she waited. 

“Well?” The admiral said, with a raised eyebrow. 

Kathryn felt like she was looking in a mirror to the future. She still couldn’t believe she was who she said she was but there was no denying DNA. 

“You… you said that Chakotay would marry Seven. When…how does that happen?”

“He hasn’t told you yet.” The admiral said, resting her chin on her palm. She observed her although she knew what her reaction would be. The same reaction she had when she had found out… from someone else. 

“What?!!” her eyes widened, “they’re together… now?” Kathryn couldn’t believe what she was hearing. 

The admiral pressed on, “Oh, don’t worry, he will. They’re not ready to make it public.”

It was Kathryn’s turn to raise her brow, “why would he not tell me? He’s my closest…”

Admiral Janeway leaned in closer with a sly grin, “your closest...what?” 

She was being facetious and it was downright annoying to Kathryn. With an irritated grin she said “ _ friend _ , my best friend.”

The admiral stood up and walked over to the replicator to order two chamomile teas. Handing a cup and saucer to Kathryn, she returned to her spot and began to sip the soothing beverage. “Are you still sensing that I’m hiding something from you?” 

Kathryn set her teacup down on the table after taking a sip. “You haven’t told me much about Chakotay. Are we still… close?”

Admiral Janeway's face turned bleak and she took another sip of tea to hide her expression. “We were.” She said simply. 

Kathryn tilted her head to the side, trying to read the older woman before her. She could not imagine a time without Chakotay in her life. “Were? Did his relationship cause tension?” She didn’t really want to hear the admiral’s answer to that. She would like to think that  _ her _ relationship with Chakotay could withstand everything.  _ ‘But maybe it won’t’  _ she thought, painfully. 

Her eyes… ocean blue eyes that have faded to a steel blue over the years, were fixed on Kathryn’s face after hearing the question. She no longer had a playful aura about her. Instead, the mood grew dark and somber. 

“He died.” She said bluntly. 

Kathryn’s heart sank. Did she dare ask how or when? Unsure if she wanted to know at all. 

As if reading her thoughts, the Admiral answered her unasked questions. “The moment we entered the Alpha Quadrant…” She said grimly, “He all but died in my arms on the bridge”. She lowered her head to hide the tears that were attempting to take over.

Kathryn let out the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “I… I’m so sorry.” She said quietly. It felt strange to console ‘herself’, but it felt necessary in the moment.

The admiral looked back up at Kathryn, her face now serious. “He told me he loved me… before he passed. You think you’ve felt guilt all these years, punishing yourself for your decision that stranded you here?” Her voice cracked with emotion even though her face remained hard. “Try living with that…” she said, bitterly. 

The pain Kathryn felt in her heart, hearing these words, were now clearly visible on her face. 

The older Janeway reached out for her younger companion’s hands and leaned in. Pleading, she said, “Please, let me help you. Get- your- family-home.” 


	4. Who Told You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Admiral Janeway and Chakotay share a moment on the "Alpha Flyer" after their return to Earth.

~~2378- “Alpha Flyer”- Alpha Quadrant~~

_ An extended scene to Homecoming Chapter 7 _

Chakotay and Kathryn Janeway had spent a few days together on a small ship that Chakotay nicknamed the “Alpha Flyer”. They seemed to have fallen back into the same comfortable pattern of friendship. They found themselves laughing as they reminisced about the past and listened to each other’s stories about the present. They spoke about the welcome home banquet and seeing family and friends for the first time. 

“Speaking of the banquet,” she said, “I noticed you and Seven weren’t sitting together… and you can tell me to mind my own business if you’d like, I was just wondering...”

Chakotay glanced over at her quizzically.  _ ‘Who told you?’  _ he thought. “Seven feels that now that we have reached Earth, the chances of our relationship working out are slim… she needs to find out who she is as an individual.”

Kathryn nodded with understanding and gave him a warm, supportive smile. Chakotay looked back at her then scoffed. “Hell, I need to figure out who I am here.”

“I understand that,” she said, “this is strange for all of us.” She leaned back in the co-pilot’s seat and put her feet up. She closed her eyes and listened to the hum of the ship.

Chakotay thought for a moment. He had to know. “ _ Who told her” _ ? “Kathryn…”

“Hmm?” she answered, without opening her eyes. 

“How did you know about Seven?” he said, apprehensively.

Kathryn’s eyes flicked open. ‘ _ Ok, so this is where this conversation is headed’,  _ she thought. “Let’s just say a little birdy told me” she quipped. 

“The Admiral?” he stated, more than questioned. He gave her a sidelong glance and a wicked smile. 

Kathryn looked down and tried to remain serious but she couldn’t stop the smile that tugged on the corner of her mouth. She looked back up at him. He had turned back to the controls. “She may have told me a few things.” 

It was quiet for a moment and then Chakotay broke the silence once more. “Whatever she may have told you… forget it. Her Chakotay is not me and you are not her.” He said calmly, turning to meet her eyes. “You’re wondering why I got involved with her in the first place.”

“Chakotay, we don’t have to go down that road if you’re not comfortable…” she frowned.

“You’re my closest friend. What kind of friend would I be if I can’t be honest with you?” He said with a light smile. 

Her face brightened at his words. After seven long years, he continued to put their friendship first, respect her boundaries, and stand by her through good and bad. Being lucky to have him in her life was an understatement. She nodded for him to continue.

“I know the admiral probably told you that we were serious. Maybe in her timeline, but not ours. The truth is that we’ve only been on a few dates.” He tugged on his ear. “To be honest, I was flattered that she was taking an interest in me… and I know she was trying to learn how to be in a relationship. I guess you could say it was a nice distraction and I was glad to help.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment or two. Then Kathryn said, “Thank you for opening up to me.”

“Always.” He said without missing a beat. He smiled softly. 

*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*

The former Captain and First Officer of the U.S.S. Voyager returned to Earth after a week long trip to visit Tevlik’s Moon, site of the horrific mass murder of thousands of Maquis. This was a difficult trip for Chakotay, but Kathryn was honored that he chose her to accompany him. 

Kathryn entered her apartment in San Francisco, carrying a small bag that she had brought with her on the trip. She set the bag down on the floor and automatically walked over to the replicator to order a coffee. As the beverage materialized, she picked it up, breathing in the nutty aroma and turned to view her half-decorated space. It seemed to be taking a lot longer to unpack and make this place her home than she thought. 

Settling herself onto a nearby couch, she leaned back into the plump couch cushions, bringing one arm over her head to rest across her forehead. Now, more than ever, she began to feel the potential for a relationship with the man that she had held at arm's-length for seven years. After being forced to push their feelings away when returning from New Earth, they once more attempted to explore their feelings on the holodeck in the Venice program that Tom Paris had created. Kathryn reluctantly pushed him away again explaining that his love was not a ‘safe’ love. Meeting Chakotay brought up feelings she had not felt since Justin and frankly, it scared the hell out of her. She told him that she wasn’t saying ‘never’ just ‘not yet’. They looked toward the future with hope. She didn’t expect him to wait for her and he almost didn’t, but she didn’t blame him for trying to move on. Now that they were home, the possibilities were endless. 


	5. The Peace My Soul Was Searching For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wedding in Bloomington, Indiana :-)
> 
> This chapter features a Native American wedding prayer.

~~2382- Bloomington, Indiana, Earth - Alpha Quadrant~~

Chakotay straightened his tie in the vintage mirror of the upstairs bedroom in the Janeway household. It was a precious, family heirloom and he felt honored that Gretchen Janeway had allowed him to use it on this significant day. 

He was dressed in a sand-colored suit which complemented his bronze skin. The color was perfect for a pleasant early-summer day in Indiana. Chakotay let out a deep, relaxed breath as he smoothed the material of his pants. At the same time, there was a knock at the door. Poking through the partially opened door was Tom Paris, donning a matching, navy blue suit.

“Having second thoughts?” Tom joked with a smile.

Chakotay turned toward his former pilot, turned first officer. He chuckled at the words. “Do I look nervous, Paris?” he said, holding out his arms

“You look like a million bucks!” Tom said, clapping his shoulder. 

“And just wait until you see _her_!” a voice interrupted. B’Elanna Torres walked in with, now 4-year-old, Miral hanging onto the back of her wine-colored dress. She beamed as she hugged Chakotay.

“Don’t you look beautiful?” Chakotay grinned, bending down to Miral’s level. 

Miral ran into Chakotay’s embrace. “Thank you Uncle!” She wore a peach dress with a tulle skirt and a wine colored bow to match her mother’s gown. 

“Just a couple finishing touches, Old Man,” B’Elanna said as Chakotay stood up and she began to pin on a peach-colored rose to his lapel. “There! Perfect.” She said, as she stepped back to look at him, her hands still resting on his arms. 

“Oh! I almost forgot,“ Tom reached into his inside jacket pocket and retrieved a wooden box. He handed the box to Chakotay and said, “It’s your wedding gift from your soon-to-be wife.”

Chakotay took the lustrous pine box and snapped it open. He could smell the fresh scent of pine as he looked down upon a fine, silver pocket watch. He gently lifted it from its case and smiled in recognition of the gift. He remembered giving Kathryn a similar watch during a time of great stress on board Voyager. It was a replica of a chronometer worn by Captain Cray, a Navy captain that, against all odds, got his lost crew home. The gesture was to show her the faith he had in her to do the same. 

As he turned over the new watch in his hands, he noticed an engraving on the back: 

_My Angry Warrior,_

_You stood by my side_

_And lightened my burden_

_With unwavering devotion_

_In the face of an uncertain voyage._

_Kathryn_

Chakotay ran his thumb over the engraving and smiled. He then secured the chain on his trousers, proudly displaying the watch. 

*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*

Down the hall, in her childhood bedroom, Kathryn Janeway looked in a floor length mirror as her younger sister, Phoebe, put the finishing touches on her hair. Ringlets of auburn hair were pinned back low with some loose curls framing her face. 

“There!,” Phoebe said, tucking in the last hairpin, “What do you think, Katie?” She placed her hands on either side of her arms and poked her head around to see her own reflection as well as Kathryn’s.

“It’s just lovely!” 

The sisters turned toward the door at the sound of their mother, Gretchen Janeway’s, voice. 

Kathryn smiled brightly at her mother. “Thank you, Momma.” she replied. 

“Let me look at you.” Gretchen said, reaching out to take hold of her eldest daughter’s hands. “What a vision.” She put her hand up to jokingly whisper, “I took a sneak peek of your husband-to-be. You are going to compliment each other very nicely.”

Kathryn’s ivory gown was simple, yet elegant. The floor-length dress had a sleeveless bodice with lace in the front and a tasteful v-neck. The back was shear down to her mid-back with buttons that went all the way down the train. 

“Katie, my dear,” Gretchen said as she opened one of the drawers of the bedroom’s bureau. “Your father gave this necklace to me on our wedding day. He wanted you to have it.”

Kathryn accepted the silver box from her mother and lifted the cover off. Inside was a delicate, braided silver chain with a heart-shaped pendant. The heart was encircled by small diamonds that sparkled in the sunlight that shone through the window. She gently picked up the necklace to admire it.

“Oh, mom,” she said, “I haven’t seen this in years! It’s beautiful!” 

“Let me.” Phoebe said. 

Kathryn carefully handed Phoebe the necklace. Her sister placed it around her neck and fastened the clasp. She placed her hand on the pendant and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes glistened as she began to tear up with emotion. 

“There’s one more thing,” Gretchen added, “Your wedding gift.” 

She handed Kathryn a black, velour box. Diamonds sparkled as she snapped open the box. It was a narrow, sterling silver cuff bracelet encrusted with diamonds across the top. As she took the bracelet out to wear it along with the necklace, she noticed an inscription on the inside. It read:

_You were, are, and forever_

_will be the peace that my soul_

_was searching for._

_Chakotay_

Kathryn shivered from the chills she felt from reading the beautiful words. She couldn’t believe that this day had come. How lucky she was to finally allow herself to be loved. She slipped the cuff onto her wrist and turned toward her mother and sister with a radiant smile. 

“Ready Sis? Phoebe asked.

Kathryn nodded and the three Janeway women made their way out the door. Phoebe helped her with her short train as she walked down the split staircase. Making her way down the center, Kathryn looked up to see Tuvok waiting at the bottom of the stairway. As she stepped down to the first floor, she took Tuvok’s hands in hers. 

“Hello, old friend.” she said, affectionately. 

“Admiral, you look acceptable.” Tuvok stated.

Kathryn could swear she heard a hint of emotion in his voice, although unlikely. She tried to suppress a giggle as she said, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Are you ready?” said a voice from the front entryway. Kathryn and Tuvok turned toward B’Elanna who had just left Chakotay in the front of the Janeway home. The wedding guests were enjoying cocktails and light refreshments in the backyard. 

Kathryn squeezed Tuvok’s hands before following B’Elanna out the front door. Her former engineer led her to where Chakotay was waiting, facing away from her. His arms were clasped in front of him and his head was bowed down. B’Elanna stopped as they approached, smiled at Kathryn, and then walked away to give them privacy.

Kathryn could feel her heart skip a beat in anticipation. Just then, Chakotay raised his head, sensing her presence. She reached out to tenderly touch his shoulder. 

At the feeling of her touch, he felt dizzy with excitement. He turned slowly, turning his head slightly to peek. When she was in full-view, awe transformed his face. Joy warmed him from within and affection glowed in his eyes. He found himself speechless, a state he often found himself in around her, but this time was different. This time, the woman before him was about to become his wife. The same woman that had captured his heart so many years ago. The same woman that locked her heart, afraid to allow herself to be loved. 

Kathryn’s skin flushed at the sight of those chestnut eyes, forever filled with devotion. Her lopsided grin grew into one of those smiles that reached her eyes. Dimples flashed and met her smile with equal intensity.

Taking her hands in his, Chakotay finally said, “I didn’t think it was possible for you to look more beautiful.”

Kathryn blushed and bowed her head. She lifted her eyes back up to his, now misty from the overwhelming feelings of joy. 

“I could say the same for you,” she replied.

Chakotay brought her hands up to kiss them softly. Off in the distance they could hear a little bit of a commotion that made them turn to see what they were hearing. 

B’Elanna, Phoebe, and Gretchen were all peeking out the front doorway trying to get a look at the couple. 

“Ow!” Phoebe said as her chin bumped into B’Elanna’s shoulder. 

“Sorry!” B’Elanna exclaimed, “I’m trying to get a picture!”

“Girls! Let the old woman have a look!” Gretchen said, as she attempted to view the scene from behind the other two. 

Chakotay and Kathryn looked back at each other and couldn’t contain their laughter. Chakotay pulled her into an embrace with a smile that usually makes her go weak in the knees.

B’Elanna snapped a holoimage and said, “Got it!” She left the threshold almost causing Phoebe and Gretchen to fall over. She walked over to the couple and jokingly cleared her throat. 

Chakotay and Kathryn parted from their embrace to look at B’Elanna.

“It’s time to get this show on the road!” she said, earning her a raised eyebrow from her commanding officers. 

“You’ve been spending too much time with Paris.” Chakotay teased. 

B’Elanna playfully punched his arm. “C’mon, you.” she said as she led him to the backyard to take his position. 

Kathryn stood there, still facing away from the house for a moment. Phoebe came closer and touched her arm which caused her to turn around. 

“Ready?”

“Absolutely!” Kathryn said, smiling radiantly. 

*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*

Phoebe helped Kathryn with the train of her dress as they walked over to the gated entrance to the backyard where Tuvok had just positioned himself. She took Tuvok’s arm as she prepared to walk down the aisle. Phoebe handed her a bouquet of peach and white roses, seeded eucalyptus, and white gillyflowers. 

The guest list was kept small, composed of only the senior staff from Voyager’s first journey and close family and friends outside of Starfleet. Tom Paris stood next to Chakotay under Gretchen Janeway’s cherished magnolia trees. B’Elanna, Phoebe, and Miral stood on the opposite side waiting for Kathryn. The Doctor, who was now ordained to marry, stood in the center waiting for the bride. The light music that had filled the atmosphere while guests waited paused for a moment as a signal for the bride. Harry Kim played _‘Gabriel’s Oboe’,_ accompanied by the rest of the _‘Kimtones’,_ as Tuvok began to walk Kathryn down the aisle. 

Although he had just seen her a few moments before, Chakotay could not help but feel breathless at the sight of her. At this moment she was walking toward their future, one filled with promise that once felt like an unrealistic hope. Ocean blue eyes sparkled in his direction as he found himself in an exhilarating reverie. 

Kathryn met Chakotay’s eyes and smiled at the reality that he still made her feel like he was gazing upon a rare beauty. He always looked at her that way and she felt incredibly blessed to be adored this way. 

Kathryn handed her bouquet to B’Elanna as she approached the front of the ceremony space. Tuvok joined Kathryn and Chakotay’s hands. The Doctor proceeded to welcome everyone. 

“Before the Admiral and Captain say their vows, we would like to start with a Native American blessing. Sekaya?” He motioned for Chakotay’s sister to come up to lead the blessing. 

_“Now you will feel no rain,_

_For each of you will be shelter to the other._

_Now you will feel no cold,_

_For each of you will be warmth to each other._

_Now you will feel no loneliness,_

_For each of you will be comfort to the other._

_Now you are two persons,_

_But there is only one life before you._

_Go forward from this place,_

_To enter into the days of your life together.”_

Sekaya gave a quick wink to her brother before sitting back down. Chakotay noticed the gentle tears on Kathryn’s face. He softy wiped them away, giving her a sweet dimpled smile. 

The couple turned toward each other to begin their vows. They kept the vows simple. They both knew they would never find the right words that meant enough and saying those words would not mean anything to the attender. 

Tom handed Chakotay a ring. The Doctor turned to Chakotay and said, “Captain, please repeat after me. “I Chakotay.”

“I Chakotay.”

The Doctor continued the vows and Chakotay copied his words. 

“Take you Kathryn.

To be my wife.

With this ring, I give you my heart,

From this day forward,

You shall not walk alone.

May my arms be your home.”

Chakotay placed the ring on Kathryn’s finger. Tom then gave her another ring. The Doctor said “Admiral, repeat after me. I Kathryn.”

“I Kathryn.”

“Take you Chakotay.

To be my husband.

With this ring, I give you my heart,

From this day forward,

You shall not walk alone.

May my arms be your home.”

Kathryn placed the ring on Chakotay’s finger, earning her a smile from her beloved. Again, they took each other’s hands.

“Admiral… Captain,” the Doctor said, looking at each of them. “It is my pleasure to introduce you as husband and wife. You may kiss the bride”.

Chakotay took Kathryn’s face in his hands and leaned in to kiss her. The kiss was gentle yet full of passion. This kiss had a different meaning for Chakotay now. Her lips were so soft on his and he wanted nothing but to drink her in. ‘ _Later’_ he thought delightfully, feeling incredibly fortunate.

When their lips parted, the couple could not contain the smiles that danced on their faces. B’Elanna handed Kathryn her bouquet as she and Chakotay turned toward their seated guests. They made their way out of the backyard to the sounds of roaring applause. This union had indeed been long-anticipated by members of their crew and the cacophony proved that. 

*~•~*~•~*~•~*~•~*

Much later into the night after most of the guests had gone to their respective homes, Kathryn and Chakotay sat around a bonfire on the Janeway grounds. They were joined by B’Elanna, Tom, Phoebe, Phoebe’s boyfriend Joe, Harry and Libby. Gretchen had gone inside to put Miral to bed. Kathryn watched the group across the amber blaze as the group was fully engaged in one of Tom’s stories that had them in tears from laughing. 

Kathryn had changed into heather gray leggings and a teal oversized sweater, knowing that the nights in Indiana can be quite chilly. She was curled up in an Adirondack chair enjoying the warmth of the fire on her skin. She glanced over to see Chakotay admiring her, the fire casting shadows that danced on his face. She gave him a content, lopsided grin and reached out for his hand, her eyes landing on their wedding bands. They interlaced their fingers, bringing a far away memory to light in Kathryn’s mind. 

She had once been the peace that Chakotay was searching for. Kathryn knew now that she had, in fact, found _her_ true meaning of peace. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
